Post Two Post-surgery time – Days 1 to 21

Go Slow Now to Go Fast Later

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Being on high-level pain medications is interesting.  In the hospital recovery, I remember drowsily being aware of voices coming and going. On the post-op floor staff were excellent.  Attentive. Not too chatty. But I was chatty. They knocked when entering.  Staff identified themselves.  Two visitors did not.  So, I simply asked who they were. It’s a good habit for everyone who enters to initiate: “Hello, I am ____. I am here to___.”   Rich stayed close by.

Our son came in about day ten.  A nurse had pointed out that people tend to rush in to help with surgery.  When in truth, a person rests/sleeps a lot!  So, help later, when others have resumed their lives is often more helpful.  That proved to be true for us.

At first, I slept/rested a lot, and was foggy at best. Yet, I managed to periodically get up and trundle around the single-floor home of friends who had us stay. I thought I could do more than was actually wise to do.

Years ago, I was part of an international labyrinth team planning an international virtual facilitator workshop.  A wise colleague from Texas reminded us to go slow in planning now to go fast later. Great advise following surgery. And, other situations, too.

Just be patient. Even though I am in fairly good physical shape, I found that as I weaned off medications, body parts that I had forgotten about complained.  This is because I was holding my body more tensely and moving irregularly.  The HeartMath techniques I have learned and practiced helped. This thoughtful pause of breathing and appreciation helped me center.

Several times a day take “One Good Minute” to breathe deeply. Name and feel what you appreciate. As is appropriate check with your doctor and arrange for a licensed lymph drainage specialist to drain off excess fluids. I learned and practiced lymph drainage which helped in between sessions.

Moving Around:
Face What is Ahead of You

I am always surprised at how often I face one way and start to overreach or twist to get something not directly in front of me. As Doctor Schopick, the neurosurgeon, pointed out, “Face What You Are Doing!“ and “What is Ahead of You.” This is good practice, both literally and figuratively. Denial usually creates more problems than facing something straight on.

In this case, Nose follows Toes.  Walk heel-toe. Shoulders back. Chin up. Draw the low belly up. Use a walker or cane as a guide.  Use your peripheral vision to see. Remember, these are “code talk” for “Stop shuffling!” “Stop slouching!” “Suck in your gut!” “Release the death grip on the walker/cane!”

Use the stairs’ railing as a guide instead of pulling up or pushing down. I found a comfortable way to descend stairs first thing in the morning when I was stiff was to step down sideways, gripping like the Ninja Warriors on TV: one hand over/one hand under.

Other Thoughts

Elevate swollen areas. Long ago, injuries on my left leg created issues with swelling on the ankle and foot. I iced as appropriate and later alternated with heat. Lymph drainage by professionals relieved swelling in areas beyond the surgical sites. I checked with professionals first.

Helpers: Keep the house tidy. This promotes safety and helps the recovering person mentally. I found it helpful to make lists of what I would like done and ask helpers to do a few at a time.

Rest: do one task and lie down. I learned to recognize when I was tired.  i.e., Sigh, short-tempered. Achy. Slouching. I would lie down, even when I was sick of lying down.

Reachers: I placed in several locations around the house. Again, a learning process. when an object fell, I breathed and got the Reacher.

Clothing: As my body adjusted to post-surgery recovery, I found that I alternated between being cold and then warm. Easy to take off and put on tops and layers like vests helped. High-waisted, wide-legged pants proved easy to use. The low front and back incisions were exactly where the underpants’ bands rested.  Owie!  So, a friend suggested, “Go Commando.”  Lightweight mini-pads kept my pants clean for the several days I needed them.

Meals: People are willing to help. We arranged the Meal Train for every few days.  (Other programs exist). People brought more food than one meal. Also, this became a time for short visits. Spread out meal offers longer than you think you might want them as this is also a social time. At about two weeks, I felt like and could make meals but felt isolated, so visits were nice.

Visitors: We all have different social personalities. Even social, spontaneous folks may prefer a more structured, pre-planned visit time. (phone or in person.) I found it helpful to ask folks to email vs text to see when I might want to visit or talk on the phone. Unless you put the phone on mute, texts disrupt your rest.

Be Specific: Tell people specifically what you do appreciate and do not want or need.  i.e., no war stories.  Keep visits to 30-45 minutes. If you do not want/need flowers/plants, tell people. Suggest other ways for them to connect.  i.e., meals, cards over time beyond the initial phase, taking you on short drives, arranging phone calls, and short visits, help keeping the house tidy. Spontaneous drop-ins can be problematic. You may be tired, have just laid down, having a harder day. Getting to the door takes time. Visiting takes enormous energy. We have amazing friends who helped with household cleaning tasks. Bathrooms and vacuuming were two enormous helps.

Areas the medical community could help with: Show and have clients practice how to use a walker and cane. I didn’t know for weeks to use the cane on the opposite side of the injured body. Call three days post-surgery and ask, “What are you experiencing?” Advise on scar rehabilitation after it has healed to loosen skin from fascia and other muscles. This promotes flexibility in the future.

Notes, texts, or emails to check in over several weeks to spread out and help you feel connected to the world. I took time to send e-cards or emails to thank them and stay in touch with updates.

Transportation:  Allow people to drive you around for a number of weeks. Learn how to get in and out of cars.  A great tip on YouTube is to put heavy plastic on the seat to help you slip in and out of the car.

Keep items within reach from knees to shoulders

Keeping Clean: Body wash clothes. No bending beyond 30 degrees. If you remember geometry class, a right angle is the letter L. Half that is 45 degrees. 30 degrees is even less. Go no further! Let the bones and hardware fuse.

Small cups to spit into and rinse mouth. Baby wipes for anus. Dispose in the trash, not the toilet.  Otherwise, the wipes can clog up septic and sewer systems. THAT is a big problem.  Body wash clothes are handy and safer than soap bars.  The latter are slippery, and if one falls from your hand, it could hit your body, which hurts, or you could slip on it. Trying to pick one up with a Reacher is nigh impossible. Body washcloths are soft and easy to grasp with a Reacher.

Caregivers: Do what the person wants. Even if it seems silly or odd. A good way to ask is, “What do you want or need done now?” vs. “Well, let me know if you need anything.” Often our brain cannot function to say, take out the trash, pull frozen meals out of freezer, wash and put away dishes….

Patient: Be patient.  Helpers may do things differently than you.  If the task gets done, just say thank you.

Family, Friends, and Colleagues: Send encouragement and gentle advice.  One childhood friend shared: “I’m so glad you are recovering well.  It sure takes time, especially when you consider what you have been thru.  Just keep taking it a day at a time, and keep listening to your body like you have been.  My experience with my hips taught me to do exactly what the discharge instructions say.  I paid for it whenever I tried to do too much too quickly.”

People I work with reminded me to avoid doing things that impede my progress.  Take a “pity party, but don’t wallow in it.” And “Be a compliant patient.” So, let’s go for it and do less now to do more later.

Remember, “You Got This!”